Highline Ballroom Saves The Music.

This post is a day late, as yesterday I had to render myself useless. Most people do so after a long night of drinking; I, on the other hand, have to do so after a long day and night of ass kicking, because my Fibromyalgia, among other things, like to kick my ass in return. Good thing I don’t take no for an answer.

Lions by Sarah Gray-Perez

I woke up at 6:30 on Tuesday morning, got a bunch of things done, then hopped in my car, drove across the GW, and picked up my buddy Sarah and her two-year-old son Julian so that we could go to the Bronx Zoo. I spent a good percentage of my childhood years there, marveling at the elephants. Unfortunately the elephants were not out, but we got to see all the big cats, which excites me almost as much. On one hand, the zoo makes me sad, but on the other, relieved that the animals are safe. I often wish that lions were not carnivorous or at all interested in sometimes hurting humans who get too close, because all I want to do is cuddle with one. They are magnificently gorgeous creatures, who I often compare Rusty, my orange/blonde striped Domestic Long Hair cat to – not only because of his color, but also because of his attitude, saunter, and very large paws. I also say he yawns like a lion, and received confirmation as I walked over to the Bronx Zoo lions and witnessed one yawn twice. An exact replica of what I witness on a daily basis.

Jesse Blaze Snider at Highline Ballroom © Olivia Taubner/Rockin' Roll Photography

After I dropped them home, I parked my car and took the A train downtown to 14th with my friend Sara(without an h). It was time to head over to Highline Ballroom to interview Jesse Blaze Snider – who yes, is the son of Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider, one of the best frontmen in the history of music, but more than anything a huge talent in his own right. I think we’ve talked about doing an interview for at least two years now. So at long last, we had 15 minutes to sit down backstage and talk amongst the members of seven bands beginning to change and prepare for the show. Once we finished, the doors weren’t opening for another half hour, and the show wasn’t starting for an hour after that, so Sara and I decided to go get dinner and regroup before heading back to Highline once again.

Snider headlined a showcase of local bands titled “All Things Rock” put together by Break’n Through, to benefit VH1’s Save The Music Foundation, which is one of my absolute favorite charities in existence. I spotted Paulie Z. (according to Paulie’s Twitter, his brother David Z. was there as well) from rock band ZO2, who have their own show Z Rock on IFC (Sundays @11/10c), as well as Kevin Christiana from season 4 of Bravo’s Project Runway, although I didn’t know it at the time. Sara and I knew we knew him – but not from where. He appeared to be a chick magnet, and later an excited drunk in front of the stage, with his friend constantly yelling in my ear about who he was – “He’s Kevin Christiana! Uh, Jesse just thanked him onstage! Didn’t you hear?! Do you want to take his photo?!” – while I was photographing Snider’s set. Interesting, to say the least. As we walked down west 16th after leaving the venue Sara shouted “Project Runway!” and an episode with Christiana flashed by in my memory. DUH.

After grabbing a Dunkaccino to heal my exhausted mind and my ailing back and shoulder region due to a half broken camera bag that weighs more than I do, we collapsed on the A train and then drove back home to “Dirty Jerz.”

FYI, only a selection of exits along the Turnpike are ACTUALLY dirty, but thanks for such a swell nickname.

VH1’s Save The Music Foundation: http://www.vh1savethemusic.com/
Break’n Through: http://www.breaknthrough.com
Jesse Blaze Snider: http://www.facebook.com/JesseSniderMusic
Fibromyalgia Research: http://www.nfra.net/

xoxo
Olivia

Death Traps in Cosmetics (This is for You Ladies!)

Judi Vance has dedicated her life to educating the public about the harmful ingredients in cosmetics. She is presently campaigning to have these harmful ingredients totally banned. She publishes a newsletter called The Cosmetic Health Report and is the author of Beauty to Die For: the Cosmetic Consequence.

My journey into cosmetic research began about ten years ago when I was told I would not recover my health. I was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, allergies and immunological defect; I was having 10 to 12 seizures a day, and walking with two canes. I had always been a heavy user of cosmetics, and began to suspect in particular the acrylic nails I had used for years, so I began to research the ingredients they use.

INGREDIENTS IN COSMETICS Cosmetics are anything that we apply to our bodies including soap, toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, deodorant and shaving cream. There isn’t one person I have ever met who knew anything about cosmetics, and that is because the chemistry of cosmetics has always been cloaked in secrecy. The United States has had labelling laws for the last 20 years, but here in Canada there are no labels on containers. We need to let Health Canada know how seriously we need labels to disclose what is actually in these products.

MOLECULES WHICH PENETRATE THE BODY When you put a coating of creme or shaving gel on your face, these chemicals penetrate the skin and get inside the body, but not everything you put on your skin is actually going to be absorbed. Some molecules are too large to get in, but some are very tiny and can stay in the body for many days. Everyone used to think the skin is the perfect barrier, but one of the transport systems that takes these harmful ingredients into the body is the hair follicle.

SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE Sodium lauryl sulfate is a very strong surfactant that was developed for washing garage floors. The problem is that it denatures protein, and the body is made up of protein. Sodium lauryl sulfate is used in shampoos, toothpaste, lotions and creams. Research shows that it causes damage to the eyes, the cells and the entire body. It can combine with other ingredients in the container and create nitrosamines which cause skin damage and irritation. A dental association in Japan tested sodium lauryl sulfate on bacteria, and found that it is a mutagen which means that it can change the genetics within the cell. In children under six, just the absorption of this ingredient through the scalp every day is enough to prevent their eye proteins from linking up properly. These harmful ingredients are banned in Europe and Central America. Sodium laureth sulfate is also a toxic surfactant (milder but has ether added which is worse) used in shampoos and toothpastes.

PROPYLENE GLYCOL This is anti-freeze. If it spills in the garage, we wipe it up right away because we know that dogs and cats lick it and could die from it. The manufacturer of propylene glycol actually sends out a safety data sheet which states that when applied to the skin it causes liver abnormalities and kidney damage. Propylene glycol has the ability to get into the skin, into the blood stream and into the body where it is stored for days and weeks at a time. It can actually alter brain waves to a state of anxiety. Propylene glycol is used in most cosmetic products, as well as food products like ice cream and muffins. It is a humectant and holds in the moisture. It is used in practically every single lipstick on the market, so has clear access to the limbic system of the brain.

COLOURANTS I wore red lipstick for years and years, and I don’t wear it anymore. I don’t trust anybody’s reds. If you took FD & C Red No.3, which is found in a great deal of cosmetics and put it into a petrie dish with breast tissue, you will find breast cancer. This ingredient is still on the market, and we know it causes cancer.

NAIL POLISH The nails do absorb chemicals from nail polish, remover and the glue used with acrylic nails.

CONTAMINANTS These contaminants do not appear on the label. It is not the cosmetic manufacturers who cause the contamination, but the suppliers of the raw materials. What we want in the industry is to have the actual raw materials cleaned up. Contamination can occur from the cleaning of the plants or from the solvents they use, and most of the products on the market are contaminated. DEA (diethanol amine) is widely used in shampoos, and scientists have been reporting that DEA, whether or not it’s a DEA cocamide, mixes with the nitrogen-containing molecule in the same container and creates nitrosamines which get into your body and are carcinogens. Sometimes ingredients which aren’t harmful alone may go on to create a formaldehyde or a contaminant. In a recent study, they tested 54 ethoxylated moisturizing ingredients, and found all 54 of them contained exceedingly high levels of 1,4 dioxane which is a powerful xeno-estrogen.

XENO-ESTROGENS Women today have so many problems with their hormones being out of balance with PMS and menopausal symptoms, and this shouldn’t be because it doesn’t occur in Third World countries, China or Japan. Menopause is a North American disease and it may just be that we have created it through cosmetic use. We have a major problem with hormone mimickers like xeno-estrogens affecting our endocrine systems. A xeno-estrogen communicates with our cells as if it were an estrogen. Many ingredients in cosmetics have the ability to be a xeno-estrogen. If found in a shampoo, it can lower the sperm count in men! And any exposure between the ages of birth to about six years old can definitely alter a child’s hormones. So I always say “Mothers if you want your boys to grow up to be cowboys don’t put them in a bubble bath!”

EXTRACTION PROCESS We hear a lot today about ingredients coming from natural sources like coconuts. But to get the oil from a coconut and put it into a container of shampoo or face cream, it has to go through some type of chemical process, and in this process, many contaminants are formed. Many of us are not aware that essential oils and other products have been extracted from the plant with solvents like propylene glycol and benzene. There are better ways of doing this such as cold pressing, natural extractions and distilling.

FRAGRANCES Fragrance goes straight into the limbic system of the brain. A friend of mine who is a great researcher sent me some scans of people’s brains before and after being exposed to fragrance. Perfumes and fragrances are actually made of 5,000 hydrocarbons which are all synthetics. There are no roses pressed into that beautiful bottle. When a person’s body begins to break down, the first thing that happens is they become sensitive to perfumes, room sprays, laundry detergents, etc. We are actually absorbing and breathing these in, and the Environmental Protection Agency lists them as causing nervous disorders and brain disorders, and they are investigating a connection between fragrance and multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. Anything that a person is breathing in should be absolutely natural, and if you are using essential oils you must make sure that they have not been processed with some type of chemical solvent like propylene glycol or benzene.

ESSENTIAL OILS You cannot assume that the natural essential oils are all naturally processed. Most of them are contaminated, since 95% of companies extract the essential oil with solvents like propylene glycol, and they don’t tell you because it’s still considered pure oil. When it’s contaminated like this, the healing properties of the plant are diminished. Synthetic essential oils are also on the market, and these cannot do the same thing as the natural product. Most of the essential oils must be checked to make sure they are not synthetic and that the extraction process is natural (steam distilled). It is under investigation right now, and will be reported in my newsletters.

BABY PRODUCTS CONTAIN PETROLEUM BY-PRODUCTS AND CARCINOGENS Because shampoos irritate baby’s eyes, they put an ingredient called ethylene oxide in the shampoo. Look on the Internet; you won’t find one report which doesn’t call it a carcinogen. It loads their system up with 1,4 dioxane. Another problem with baby products is that they contain an enormous amount of petroleum by-products like mineral oil and petrolatum, and petroleum by-products can be contaminated with polycyclic hydrocarbons, dangerous carcinogens. Babies do not have immune systems which are able to tolerate these chemicals, so it’s very important to have all baby products reevaluated. There is enough fluoride in a tube of toothpaste to kill a child. Children sometimes take too much on their toothbrush and swallow quite a lot.

MELATONIN Not all synthetics are bad. Not one drop of melatonin on the market is natural; it is all synthetically derived, and yet we know that melatonin works and it is not harmful to the body. The synthetic molecule is identical to the natural molecule. It’s just that they had to kill thousands and thousands of horses originally to get enough of the natural substance to run studies in the first place. So in some instances, it is preferable to use the synthetic rather than the natural form of the ingredient.

RECIPES My book has a chapter with recipes for making your own cosmetics, but the problem with making your own cosmetics is that the oils in the cremes are so heavy that they do not allow your skin to breath and expel toxins, so you have to be very careful about that. These days moisturizers are formulated using silicone which forms a mesh-like covering on the skin which allows your skin to breathe.

LET’S CLEAN UP THE PRODUCTS Cosmetic ingredients are not regulated by the government. The industry is self-regulating. You must educate yourselves and demand that the manufacturers use safe ingredients and processes like vacuum stripping to remove the contaminants. This will increase the price of the raw material by about five times, but the cosmetic industry usually has maybe 5 to 15 cents worth of ingredients in it and the rest has all been going to profit, so there is plenty of room for change. Keep up to date with ongoing changes in cosmetic formulating by reading my free newsletter The Cosmetic Health Report which has critiques on cosmetic manufacturing companies, product spotlights, lobbying updates, cosmetic recipes and free seminars.

* * * You may contact Judi at The Cosmetic Health Report phone: 604-683-6312; fax: 604-681-4445; website: www.cosmetichealthreport.com

Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, and Knee Osteoarthritis Exercises with Thera-Band Products Featured in Active Aging Today

The new online journal from Human Kinetics, Active Aging Today, recently featured Thera-Band® products in exercise programs for diabetes, fibromyalgia, and knee osteoarthritis.  Each article provides scientific rationale and practical exercise programming, including an exercise handout in PDF format.

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Visit the Thera-Band Academy Fibromyalgia Center here

Visit the Thera-Band Academy Knee Osteoarthritis Center here

Active Aging Today (AAT) is an online multimedia journal for practitioners and administrators who lead and direct physical activity programs for older adults. The journal reports on practices and programs that successfully engage older participants. Each bimonthly issue provides practical articles written by experts in the field. For a limited time, you can register for a free, 3-month trial subscription to Active Aging Today. At checkout, just enter promo code AACCtrial to receive your discount. Click here to get your free trial subscription.

the truth...

Isn’t reading something that is completely true, free of any pretense bullshit…so much more…interesting?

YES!! YES IT IS!!!

So here goes my truth…glamour, rage, passion and all:

Ever since I was a litte kid, around 12 or so…I’ve wanted the same thing for Christmas. Each new year passes, new distractions in tow…but my wishes nor my compulsions have never really been met nor have they changed enough to really matter.

When I was a little kid, first diagnosed with Vitiligo…I made a promise to myself…a secret promise. I promised that if I was still alive with this ugly skin by the age of thirty, that I would kill myself.

Then very bittersweetly, my 30th Birthday came and left. By this new age, I had already come to realize they would never cure this “cosmetic disease” when it is so profitable. Also, there are much worse diseases out there to be worked on. Mine didn’t really matter so much. It didn’t kill people, it only made them wish they were dead ;c/

By the age of 30, my life was so backwards out of control…I don’t think I felt much in reality anyway. I didn’t have a loving family anymore. My own personal home-life was a fucking wreck!!! Mentally and emotionally I had been so abused and tormented…that the word function was not a word I could use as an *active* verb in a sentence with my name any longer, ever again.

As 31, 32, 33 and 34 all went by…a little more of Kimberly Ann’s sanity was left along the way somewhere…piece-by-piece, hope-by-hope and dream-by-dream.

At my shockingly now age of 35, I find myself in a peculiar place. I’ve been institutionalized once (overnight.) I have only one family member, and although I love her…I drive her crazy and the stress of me probably causes her issues with her own health (I’m so sorry Mom.) My boyfriend, never gets to see me anymore. My friends barely put up with me, because I never go out anymore. Oh, and now I have this chronic fucking pain syndrome (Fibromyalgia) that has taken a sad girl trapped in permanent ugly skin, and also now made that skin and tissue and muscle hurt like hell every single day for no reason at all. And now I have lumps on my neck. I don’t know what they are yet. I see another specialist next week. JOY, more friggin’ doctors.

Could this specialist be my long awaited Christmas present??? Because if I have cancer, I will refuse to treat it!! I’ve been done with this life full of psychical illness, mental illness, addiction, shit-fuck relatives and a shit-fuck system that probably wishes I would die anyway. I cost Illinois money, and that precious money that could be used to save/improve upon a random poor girls life…really belongs some rich, fat, bald, fucker (aka: a Chicago politician), so he can get his fuck on with a whore and some blow in a swanky yet discreet hotel. Money well spent eh?? At least he’d smile when he was getting “serviced.” Me?? I’m done smiling. I’m done with everything.

I wish I was worth the effort, I wish I wasn’t such an easy target for torment. But I’m nobody. I’m a social security number  and a burden.

Just so there is not any confusion…I am not a drug addict. I am not going to kill myself. I am not going to do much of anything, because I’m too sad, too sick and in too much pain to even want to try to do anything.

So, Dearest Santa…here I go again…what I want for Christmas…IS TO FUCKING DIE!!!

I’m so tired. I’m so very tired. I don’t belong here anymore. I’m nobody. I’m less than nobody, cause I’m still in the fucking way.

Love, some sad and hopeless chick that’s been walked over a few hundred times too many!!!

don't give up! my experience getting into the level 2 pain program...

Last week was one heck of a week! I had been waiting for that week for months… the day when the decision on whether or not I get into the pain program was determined. I go to Kaiser, but I believe this process is probably similar at any hospital/ medical center. The main point you have to remember… DON’T GIVE UP! Be vigilant about your health, it’s YOUR body, and at the end of the day you are the only one that will make it a priority.

It all started when the nurse practitioner I had been seeing for years… retired. I was suddenly at a loss. She was very caring and seemed to know what was going on and prescribing my meds, taking me off work when I needed, etc. She was a Subject Matter Expert. So I thought. I still have extremely great thoughts about her, but not in any of that time did she even MENTION this Level 2 Pain Program.

May 2009. My first appt with, and I’ll call him… “Dr. No Bedside Manners” was horrible. He barely acknowledged me as having Fibro, was really abrupt while examining me… didn’t acknowledge I was in real pain even though I was clearly crying while he was examining me… told me that I shouldn’t still be taking opiods after all this time, basically made me feel like a drug addict… just all in all… not a good visit. This after seeing a very sympathetic, understanding yet knowledgeable NP before. I seriously thought to myself… “Oh crap, here I am again, back in Kaiser hell…” BUT I do have to acknowledge that he told me about the Level 2 Pain program and enrolled me in the introduction class. That’s pretty big… so kudos to Dr. No Bedside Manners for that. At any rate, when I walked out of there, I looked at my husband and decided that would be the last time I saw that guy.

My Intro class was scheduled for July. Unfortunately I had to travel for work, unexpectedly the same week and had to cancel out of my class. Had I known the consequence of that decision, I would have never canceled. When I received my new date, it was not until October 6th! I called every few weeks and there was just no way I was getting a new date. In fact, I received a call and the class was pushed out a few days!

In between May and October, I was bounced from my PCP to the Dept of Physical Med & Rehab. This is the Dept that does the referrals to the Level 2 Pain Program. I took the time to fill out a complete profile of myself and gave it to a Physiologist who put the information into the computer… only to tell me that she can’t treat me, but will refer me to the program (again) and basically her only role is as the “gatekeeper” to the Level 2 Pain Program. What? She can’t prescribe meds, she can’t help with my handicap placard, she can’t help me determine if I should continue to work or not…. she can’t help me period! Very good use of my time… and after this visit, I looked at my husband and we just walked to the car in silence and once in the car I just burst into tears.

So… back to my PCP… between May and October is a long time to be in excruciating pain. I needed a solution for my pain. I was not sleeping, I could barely walk most days. I was almost 100% confined to my bed. My life sucked. I up’d my anti-depressant, I had hit bottom. My PCP is looking at me, she says “I’m not a pain specialist, I can try to help you, but I’m not sure what I can do…” I’m ready to just give up.

Through all this, the only consistently good things? The support from my family… AWESOME! The support from my boss… WONDERFUL! The support from my friends… BEAUTIFUL! They are all the best, I couldn’t ask for better. I have been truly blessed from this perspective.

If it hadn’t been for all the support, I don’t know what I would have done. Let’s just skip to the good now. It’s now Friday, October 9th (my son’s 17th bday) and I’m at the Intro to the Level 2 Pain Program class.  Before coming, I had to fill out this 7-8 page form which provides a very comprehensive/ detailed overview of my pain problem. During the class, we are taught how pain is processed, active vs. passive chronic pain treatment, cycle of pain, about opiates… and about the chronic pain team. While in class, my information is reviewed by a psychologist.

There is only one absolute criteria that you have to pass… you cannot be on any opiates to join the program. You have to sign an agreement that you will discontinue use. This wasn’t an issue for me… I only take a few times a month. Once you finish the intro class, you get a call from the Nurse Care Manager to set up the pain team evaluation appt. And now we have gone full circle… back to where I started….

October 2009. Last week was my pain team evaluation appt. It was four hours and I met with a Doctor, Psychologist and a Physical Therapist. Each for 45 minutes. Earlier in the week I had a phone appt. with a Clinical Pharmacist to review all the meds I was taking and had taken previously. At the end of the three 45 minute sessions the three + Pharmacist + Nurse Care Manager all got together in a room and agreed on a treatment plan for me. They then brought me in the room and reviewed it with me. They recommended that I:

• Participate in the 10-week Level 2 Pain Program starting in January
• Light aerobic exercise 2-3 times a day for 10-15 minutes to work towards 30 minutes a day
• Individual PT appts
• Biofeedback appts
• Individual Psych appts for cognitive strategies
• Make some changes on my meds

There were two options for the Pain Program. There was a pilot program starting November 2 for Fibro and Migraine patients but the team felt it would be too heavy-duty on the exercise as well as the people they were including were, for lack of better words, in better shape than me,  I was not ready for it.

I am really excited to get into this. I hear great things about this. Success rate is very high providing you always follow what you learn and make it a change in your life and don’t fall back to your old habits.

This was a long post, but I wanted to make sure you understood the process I went through. This way, when you start to go through it, maybe you will be better equipped and your expectation will be more realistically set. It’s not a quick one… so please be patient.

Thanks for reading! Stay cool!

sleep... what does that feel like?

What have I done to deserve this??

** I will not be held responsible for any spelling/ grammatical errors… blame this dang insomnia!! **

Sleep… who would have thought it was so difficult to achieve such an easy task? Apparently I always took it for granted. I remember in high school sleeping all the time! I guess I used up all my sleep hours. Damn! Had I only known then what I know now… I may have saved some of those sleep hours for now. Hmmmmm… doubt it I was too selfish then!

Insomnia is the best torture tactic ever. Without sleep one starts to feel crazy… at least I do. It’s been weeks since I’ve slept through the night. I don’t know why people say “I slept like a baby”… I’m sleeping like a baby now and waking up every couple hours SUCKS! The last few nights I can’t even get through an hour straight… Who made up that saying? Babies don’t sleep through the night! I guess if I’m ever in a situation where I need to torture someone, I know what to do… (Now you know I need sleep! I’m thinking I’ll be in a situation where torture figures in… )

I feel frazzled, my head feels like it weighs 20 pounds and what’s with this constant fog? I mean I live close to San Francisco, but there’s no fog in this city I live in!! It’s sunny and blue skies outside… I’d really like to take advantage of this weather!!

I would also like to work and be able to sound and feel like an intelligent human being. I am human, aren’t I? Wait… maybe THAT’s what the dr. forgot to test me for!! I’ve been tested for everything else!

I’ve just been prescribed Nortriptyline on top of the other meds I’m taking. I started to take it last night. I hope it helps with the pain and helps me sleep… I’d like to know what it feels like to sleep again… ahhhhhhh…. the feeling of …. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..  huh, sorry I dozed for a minute! Side effect of no sleep during the night… just kinda doze off and on throughout the day… yeah right! I wish!!

Praying for sleep tonight… for me and all you beautiful fibromites out there suffering from the same crazy insomnia…

Stay cool! Thanks for reading!

New Fibromyalgia Treatment

Help is now available for many who suffer from fibromyalgia and other pain related syndromes.

A technique called Neurologic Relief Centers Technique (NRCT), a specialized treatment that relieves meningeal compression from the spinal cord in the upper cervical region, was eight years in development and is now available to the public.

The test and treatment is performed by specially trained and licensed chiropractors in this method. I am one of the few selected doctors (125 as of the writing of this post) who are licensed practitioners for NRCT. In order to be selected to train for this technique, each doctor is thoroughly screened.

Neurologic Relief Centers Technique has helped thousands suffering with fibromyalgia and other painful conditions. People from all over the U.S. and Canada travel to doctors who specialize in this unique treatment. The vast majority get significant to complete relief of their symptoms.

Is NRCT for you? Most doctors who treat fibromyalgia patients with NRCT will do a free in office test to see if you are a candidate for this procedure. It’s simple and takes just minutes. From just the test, people who are good candidates for NRCT treatment experence relief that may last from hours to days, and for some, weeks.

I welcome your inquiries.